All's Fair in Love and Betting
by TakumaAngel
Summary: As her temporary body guard, Snape must follow Hermione wherever she goes, including to the fair. Two hundred galleons says she can get him on at least one ride. Can she manage to win the bet before he Kedevra's her first? Lol!
1. Chapter 1: All's Fair in Betting

**A/N REVISED:** Very, very random story, which I've decided to make into a small fanfic with probably less than ten chapters. My muse got away from me, and I'm sorry, but the idea of Snape in a pink teacup fair ride was just too delicious a temptation to resist! And it's going to be as realistic as possible. I've read some fanfics that are funny and very enjoyable, but they often lose sight of the characters within. So, here is my (still probably flawed) attempt to put our favorite potions master in the most fun situations imaginable!

**CORRECTION! I CHANGED THE EUROS TO POUNDS! I knew the British used pounds, not sure why that slipped my mind…Oh well, it's fixed now.**

**A Few Notes:** This story is AU in the fact that everyone who died in the last two books is still alive (Fred, Remus, Tonks, Moody and, of course, Albus). I needed an actual Order to conduct an Order meeting. That, and I really needed good ol' Dumbledore for this.

Ron and Hermione are not together in this story for obvious reasons.

I did rewatch the beginning of DH Part 1 so that I could see the small part of Hermione's house. I hope you all remember what it looks like. If not, I suppose you can always go back and look for yourselves.

_Chapter One: All's Fair in Betting_

"Protection!" Hermione exclaimed in outrage, standing abruptly from her chair and slamming her palms on the table.

The entire Order turned to stare at her from their respective seats in the kitchen of number Twelve Grimmuald Place. The older members had been anticipating her reaction while the younger ones weren't exactly sure what to make of this new development. Harry, Ron, Ginny, and even Fred and George said nary a word, watching silently as the Headmaster continued with his proposal patiently.

"I know how you feel, Miss Granger, but I'm afraid you are still in very grave danger."

"What about Harry? And Ron? Why am I the only one being babied?" Hermione demanded, her eyes lit with the fire of pride and indignation.

"Your friends will be well guarded since they will be residing with the Weasleys. No one here wishes to deter you from returning to your family since Alastor aided you in retrieving their memories. However, there are still many Death Eaters whom the Ministry has not been able to detain, and therefore, that makes you still a viable target. Though Lord Voldemort is no more, his followers still remain loyal."

"But Sir, I've survived a bloody war! I'm more than capable of watching out for myself!"

"Be that as it may, I simply won't be able to rest at night not knowing if you will indeed be safe."

"Hermione," Remus intoned lightly, hoping to diffuse the mounting tension in the room. "We understand your unwillingness, but it will be for the best."

"If it makes you feel better, I'd gladly be the one to stay with you," offered Tonks jovially.

"Thank you, Nymphadora," interrupted Albus kindly. "But that won't be necessary."

The incensed witch turned her head to glare at the old man, her shoulder-length hair changing to a bright red. "How many times do I have to tell you all; _don't_ _call me Nymphadora!"_

Ignoring her outburst, Dumbledore elaborated on his previous statement, his twinkling eyes focused on Hermione. "You see, I already have someone in mind to be your guardian until the threat posed to you has significantly lessened."

The Order exchanged glances, wondering who Albus had chosen, having been uninformed of this during their last meeting, which only the senior members had been allowed to attend. Whispers floated around the room as each person bounced the possibilities off of their curious neighbors. Even Minerva had been left out of the old man's musings, and she merely sat quietly at his right hand, waiting on him to finish. Hermione didn't take her angered gaze from the Headmaster as she slowly reseated herself.

"I believe," he began again after a lengthy pause, the table quieting once more. "That the person most fitting for this task is our own Severus Snape."

Ron, who had just taken a drink of his butter beer, spewed the whole mouthful across the table as the entire room stared at the tall wizard with wide, dumbstruck eyes. The youngest Weasley boy continued to choke on his drink as the silence dragged on. It was clear that Dumbledore had gone completely off his rocker!

Hermione, who was just as flabbergasted as the rest of those gathered at Headquarters, could only muster one word in all her shock. "What?" she squeaked, horrified at the suggestion.

Finally, Snape rose from his chair in the back corner of the room where he'd been hoping to remain inconspicuous until this rather abrupt and unexpected proposal. His pale face was aflame with subdued ire. "Albus, surely you realize how ridiculous this is-sending _me_ to Muggle London to protect _her?_" he snapped, gesturing at his unwanted charge with the outstretched tip of his wand.

The prideful, bushy haired Gryffindor's head swiveled to glare at the dark wizard, affronted. "Excuse me? _She_ happens to have a name! And it's Hermione Granger!"

Severus didn't bother to acknowledge her as he continued to glare at his superior. Albus, too, paid no attention to her outburst, and instead, addressed his college.

"Actually, Severus, you know that I trust you with my life. I am confident that I can also trust you to watch over Miss Granger and her family. It will only be for a little while, I assure you."

"But Albus-" began Minerva, only to be silenced by the aged wizard raising a hand.

"There is no need to worry. I am sure," he said pointedly, meeting the dangerous black eyes of Snape. "That Severus will be able to handle this assignment."

"But Sir," Harry protested. "What if Ginny, Ron and I went to stay with her?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "I'm well aware you are able to take care of yourselves, Harry, but I'm afraid three guests in the Granger household would be unnecessary, not to mention all that company would surely be an unwelcome imposition. I already regret having to infringe on their hospitality with one surprise guest."

"Why can't you send Tonks?" Severus growled, on the verge of snapping his wand. "She's willingly offered her assistance."

"Mr. and Mrs. Lupin have a young boy to attend to."

"I can watch o'er em," Moody piped up from the doorway, his mechanical eye swiveling about the room, landing on the ex Death Eater. "I can't say I trust 'im."

Snape shot the former Auror a glare through narrowed eyes. "Thank you, Alastor…" he drawled darkly.

"No, Alastor, I am positive Severus is the perfect man for the job. And forgive my saying so, but I think that you would be even more out of place in Muggle London than our dear Potions Master."

The man in question clenched his fists, returning his black eyes to the Headmaster. "You're finally done it, old man. You've finally gone batty!"

"I agree!" shrieked Minerva.

"I would have to _disagree_," said Dumbledore. "I am perfectly sane."

"Well," said Hermione, having found her voice again. The others turned to her, having nearly forgotten she was there, or that she was ultimately the cause of all this chaos. "I don't care who the bloody hell you send. I've already made plans for the summer, and I don't intent to change them just because _someone_ will no doubt be a spoil sport."

Severus snorted with a roll of his eyes. _Subtle, Granger,_ he thought.

"No one expects you to change your plans," continued the Headmaster, his quaint smile spreading across his face. "But I do require that wherever you go, Severus accompany you."

"Albus!" the enraged wizard roared.

"Now now, I will not tolerate protestation. I will take a wand oath if you feel the temptation may arise to abandon this mission."

"You and I both know a wand oath isn't necessary," Snape spat. "I already gave you my allegiance, and you certainly know how to take full advantage of it!"

Unfazed and choosing not to acknowledge the implications of Severus's harsh words, Dumbledore nodded. "Good. Then this meeting is adjourned."

X-X-X

"I'm telling you, he's gone completely mental!" Ron insisted as he, Harry, Hermione and Ginny sat in the girls' room later that day.

"You know, I never really questioned Dumbledore till now," said Harry. He had to agree with his melodramatic friend for once.

"Why on earth would he send _Snape_?" Ginny quipped in disbelief.

While her friends sat on the two beds on either side of the room, Hermione was releasing her pent up frustration by pacing back and forth like a caged lioness. "I don't know, but as I said earlier, I refuse to let him ruin my holiday."

"You know he's going to," said Ron unhelpfully.

With a loud, agitated groan, she flopped down beside Ginny, the boys sitting across from them. "Great! Looks like my plans to attend the summer festival are shot!"

"Festival?" asked Harry.

"Every year, our district holds a festival to kick off the summer. I haven't been able to attend for the past few years, what with all that's been happening in the wizarding world. It was the first thing my parents and I were going to do when I returned home next week."

Ron gave a laugh. "Pfthuh, huh, could you imagine? Snape going to a festival?"

"It's not a festival like you're used to, Ron," said Harry. "It's a muggle festival. With rides."

"Rides?" asked the brother and sister in unison.

Hermione smiled, knowing that, though the Weasley's were blessed with the wonders of magic, they were missing out on a lot of technological advances, even ones as old as fair rides. "Here," she said, rising and crossing the room to her trunk. "I have pictures from the last time I went."

After dinging through her belongings, she produced a photo album, returning to the bed to show her friends. The redheads stared at the still images of a younger Hermione riding down what looked like undulating train tracks in a blue, multi-passenger car. Then she showed them photos of the Ferris Wheel, bumper cars and teacup rides.

"Whoa! That looks amazing, Mione!" exclaimed Ron.

"Oh, I'm so jealous!" said Ginny. "Muggles get to do lots of things!"

"Except do magic," Harry countered with a smile.

"Yes, well, I think I'd trade my magic for one day if I got to be a muggle."

"Psh, I wouldn't," scoffed Ron. "But seriously, now it's even harder to imagine the greasy git going to a festival, especially full of machines like that. I mean, a pink teacup ride? That's got Umbridge written all over it!"

"Oh, don't say that!" giggled Hermione, smacking her friend with the photo book playfully. "I don't want to think of that evil witch!"

"Yeah, all that's missing is a kitten," chortled Harry.

"With pink toenails!" Ginny chimed in. "And a bow around it's neck!"

"Along with ten inch claws and fangs," said Ron. They all howled in amusement, thinking of a giant, girly fur ball sitting in one of the large teacups, bearing deadly teeth and claws, scaring away all the unsuspecting children.

"Oh my gosh!" squealed Ginny. "I just had a brilliant idea!"

Hermione and the boys blinked at her, startled by her outburst. "Yeah?" questioned Harry.

"Hermione! What if you _did_ manage to get Snape on a few rides? Or at least one?"

"What, so he can throw a killing curse at her?" suggested a horrified Ronald. "No way!"

"Come on, I'm sure Dumbledore wouldn't put Snape in charge of protecting Hermione if he thought the berk would kill her," Ginny chastised.

"But trying to get him in a teacup? That would just prove she had a death wish," argued Ron.

"I can't see that happening in a million years," said Harry warily. "He's not exactly the warm, fun-loving type."

"But what if she did? Hermione, I'd pay you fifty galleons if you somehow managed it!"

"Ginny!" chuckled the other witch in great amusement. "I'd have to agree with the boys; I have no desire to be murdered. That would certainly be counter-productive considering the reason I'll have to drag him along in the first place."

"Wouldn't it be a funny story to tell, though? You're the brightest witch of our age. If anyone can con Snape into getting on a few festival rides, it's you."

"You severely overestimate my abilities," Hermione intoned, her face slowly flushing when she realized Ginny was quite serious.

"If you can't, you can't, but isn't it worth a try? Just to see the look on his face?"

"That's it," quipped Ron, staring wide-eyed at his sister. "I think we're admitting you to St. Mungo's along with Dumbledore."

Ignoring her brother, Ginny continued to beam in Hermione's direction. "What do you say? Fifty galleons if you can get him on at least one ride. That's a hefty bargin when you know his reaction will be utterly priceless."

Hermione stayed silent, her traitorous mind actually considering taking the bet. It would be well worth fifty galleons just to see how Snape would respond to her efforts. But was it really wise to push her surly potions professor's buttons?

At last, a mischievous grin spread across her face, a daring glint in her eyes. "I'll do it."

"WHAT!" Ron and Harry shouted as they shot to their feet, causing Hermione to jump and cover her ears.

"Relax, guys. It's not like he can give me a whole term's worth of detention. We're not in school anymore. And Snape would be breaking his oath to Dumbledore if he let anything happen to me." Her grin widened. "So what do you say? Will you match Ginny's bet?"

The boys exchanged skeptical glances, then dropped back onto the bed in resignation. "Fine. We'll see to the bet," said Harry. "But I'll raise mine to a hundred galleons."

"Ha! That's a pretty big incentive to succeed, _Potter,_" Hermione declared in a perfect imitation of Snape.

"I'll match my sister's bet," said Ron. "You'll get fifty from me if you can somehow manage it, which you won't. And when you lose, I can buy some _real _dress robes."

"We'll see who'll be the loser, Weasley," Hermione challenged.

"You're on!" replied the other three in perfect sync.

X-X-X

"Mum! Dad!" Hermione threw her arms around her parents as soon as she stepped through the door of their little house in Muggle London. She'd seen them a few weeks prior, but had to leave them for a short time until the Ministry had a better handle on things.

"Oh, darling!" Jean Granger cooed, on the verge of tears as she took her daughter into her arms. "We've missed you so much!"

Taking a step back, she looked her mother and father in the eyes, her smile wide and full of radiant love and warmth. "I've missed you, too. It's good to be home."

"It's good to _have _you home, dear," amended her father, Edmund Granger. He was the first one to notice the terribly awkward and foreboding man who stood behind her, scowling. "And…who is your…friend?" he inquired, thinking the man much too old for his daughter to be dating.

Hermione flushed as she looked nervously over her shoulder at the unfriendly figure in Levi's, a black turtleneck and a jean jacket to match. His feathery hair fell around his face in attractive waves, but the barely contained sneer undermined the man's highly attractive qualities.

"Oh, um…this is Professor Snape," Hermione explained when he made no move to introduce himself. Why not let her flounder, he thought.

"You brought your professor home…for dinner?" her mother offered, thoroughly confused at the oddity.

She sighed and shook her head, ushering her parents-and her teacher-inside. "Don't worry, Mum. I'll explain everything. How about we talk over tea?"

After receiving an apologetic look from Hermione, Severus followed her into the house with a grunt. He didn't have much choice in the matter, did he? It wasn't like he could rent a hotel room just down the street where he could discreetly keep an eye on the house (didn't that sound stalkerish?). No, that wasn't part of Dumbledore's ruddy plan. Senile old fool.

He despised the thought of having to stay with these people. As he was led through a short hallway and through the door on the left that led to the small living room, he looked around the prettily decorated home at all the knick-knacks, furnishings and the myriads of still pictures in photo frames. He began to feel smothered and nauseated by the obvious joy and love that radiated from the place like it held a magic of its own. He'd never been blessed with such niceties as a child, and as a result, he didn't much care for them now that he was older.

Hermione and her father walked around the sofa and took a seat while her mother continued on down the hall and into the kitchen to put on hot water for the tea. Resignedly, Snape glided into the living room and sat as far from the Grangers as possible, opting for a chair at the little card table by the window. To say he was uncomfortable with his current situation would have been an understatement. He did, however, manage to refrain from glaring out of the sectioned glass, at least being courteous enough to look at the others in the room.

"So," Edmund began graciously, glancing at Snape instead of Hermione this time. "What brings you here, Professor Snape?"

The wizard narrowed his eyes at the other man, sizing him up before he answered in a bit more civil tone than usual. It was very hard to keep the slight sneer from his voice, however.

Before they'd arrived, Snape had inquired as to how much Granger had told her parents of the war against Voldemort. He was pleased to know that it wouldn't be terribly difficult for them to understand his unannounced presence.

"You are aware of the recent war against a very dark wizard?" he asked, just to make sure they were all on the same page.

"Yes," her father said uneasily. "We were also told that he was…gone."

Snape gave a curt nod. "He is. However, the Ministry has yet to capture some of his more…troublesome followers. Though the Dark Lord is…no more, his cronies still remain faithful to his cause. Therefore, due to your daughter's involvement with Mr. Potter, she is still in minor danger."

"Danger?" asked a worried Mrs. Granger as she entered the living area. She had overheard the short conversation thus far, and was reasonably displeased to hear that her little girl was not yet entirely 'safe.'

Severus's eyes shifted to the Mrs., saying rather dryly, "That is why I am here. I am sure that no harm awaits Miss Granger. The Death Eaters are all in hiding, hoping to evade the Aurors, and subsequently their veritable fate in Azkaban. Their cowardice is much to great to risk pulling a stunt such as attempting to harm any one of the Golden Trio."

Clearing his throat uncomfortably, he continued. "Nonetheless, I was sent as a…chaperone of sorts to watch over your household until the Ministry is certain that the threat has waned."

Hermione ducked her head, her cheeks flushing in mild embarrassment, knowing the fatal question was looming ominously about the silent room.

"You are to be…staying here?" came Jean's skeptical inquiry.

And there it was. _Oh, the shame, _Hermione thought. Her parents were not what anyone would call strict. They were usually open and welcoming. But what would they think of this? She supposed she was about to find out.

Severus gauged the elder Grangers' expressions. They seemed to be taking the news rather well thus far. He spoke his next words in measured tones. "That is entirely up to you. I was given orders to remain here to watch over Miss Granger until sometime in the near future. However, if this proves to be a problem for either of you, I will not hesitate to leave you in peace. I'm sure _Dumbledore_ can come up with another clever way to keep an eye on your family."

Her mother and father would not notice the scathing comment directed toward the Hogwarts Headmaster, but Hermione sure did. Her cheeks reddened further, and she was suddenly very glad that it was _not_ in Snape's power to give her detentions any longer.

Severus, damning the oath he'd given the old fool, sincerely hoped that the Mr. and Mrs. Would protest his presence in their home. He prayed that they'd see the situation as indecent and unnecessary and banish him from their midst so that he could tell Albus to shove this mission up his incredibly senile arse. But his hopes were soon dashed, much to Snape's dismay.

"Good Heavens, if it's for the protection of our daughter, by all means, you must stay," said Edmund Granger, infinitely more accepting than either Hermione or Snape had thought he would be.

"Yes, of course," agreed his wife, sitting on the other side of the young witch and taking her hand into her own. "We love our Hermione very much, and as long as you are here to help, not to hinder, then we welcome you as an esteemed guest into our home."

_Dammit_, Snape seethed. _Bloody trusting muggles!_

Rather than let his body betray his ire, Snape gave another curt nod, all the while wondering if it would be better to be rude and scathing so that they would kick him out, never to return. "Very well," he said, knowing that that choice was out of the question. He was nothing if not a man of his word. "Then I assure you, you won't even know…I'm here."

_Yeah, right_, thought Hermione. _As if the constant tension wouldn't give you away._

Jean, in her white, ruffled shirt, pretty pearl earrings and short, black hair, stood from the sofa with a kind smile when the tea kettle began to whistle. "Oh good! Time for a spot of tea, and we can finish getting acquainted with one another."

_Dear Merlin,_ Snape sighed, already tiring of the pleasantries. _Why couldn't the snake have killed me?_

X-X-X

Severus sat lazily on the glider in the sparse backyard that was all-in-all less than fifty square feet. It was more than he could say for his home at Spinner's End, not that he normally cared to spend his days in the bright sunshine. Considering his current predicament, he figured it was decidedly better than being trapped in the Granger house where he constantly had to see them all. He had been with them for two days, and already he was beginning to feel claustrophobic.

He found himself perusing the muggle newspaper for any sign of Death Eater activity near London, but so far he'd found nothing of the sort. He sighed wearily when he heard the sliding glass door open and close somewhere behind him.

Sure enough, Granger stepped round front of the glider-to bug him no doubt. He kept the paper in front of his face, but he did peer over the top enough to see the girl fidget nervously in his presence.

"Can I help you, Miss Granger?" came his disinterested drawl.

Hermione thought carefully, picking her words with great discression before she finally got up the nerve to speak. "Actually I…came to inform you of our plans for tomorrow," she said a bit hesitantly.

"And?" he prompted, not really caring. He had to follow her everywhere no matter what. _Blasted Albus._

"Well, I just thought you'd want to know ahead of time," she continued. "You see, my parents and I had been planning on attending the summer festival; something I've been unable to do with the war going on."

_Oh Good Lord,_ Snape thought, his dark eyes flashing dangerously. "And if I said no?"

Hermione's face fell noticeably. "Then I'd have to beg you to reconsider."

Now there was an amusing image; Hermione Granger, on her knees before him, begging. He had to stop himself from smirking just a little. His eyes returned to the newspaper, pretending to be interested in it.

"You know I'm not one for frivolity, Miss Granger," he said simply.

The girl huffed in desperation. "Mum and Dad said you could stay to help, not to hinder. And your resistance would must certainly be hindering."

"Then perhaps I should outright protest the entire excursion so that I may leave," he shot back, instantly regretting it when he saw her forlorn expression.

"Please, Professor." she pled. "I haven't been able to be with them for so long-not since I obliviated them and sent them to Australia so they'd be safe when Ron and I went to help Harry find the Horcruxes."

Sighing heavily, Snape folded the paper and set it on the seat beside him before he stood to lean against the tree that had provided him with the only respite from the blazing sun that afternoon. He folded his arms as he regarded her with apathy.

"I do not intend to keep you from having a good time with your family," he assured her.

Her eyes turned slightly hopeful as she continued to look up at him nervously. "So you won't protest the outing?"

"No. Of course not."

"Thank you, Sir," she all but beamed at him. "I was worried you might be entirely opposed to it."

His eyes narrowed in that trademark way of his, both his tone and his expression souring a little. "Bear in mind, Granger, that I am only here as a chaperone: I'm not one of your little friends who'll be seeking fun and frivolity on this troublesome trip. My presence in your life is merely yet another service to Dumbledore."

"Come on, Professor. You might find that you actually enjoy it," she hedged.

He snorted and rolled his eyes at that, rolling his hand in the air in front of him. "Yes, yes, I'm sure to enjoy the swarm of muggles, the merry little children running underfoot and the glorious festivities," he retorted with dripping sarcasm. He couldn't help it, it was in his nature.

But Granger didn't seem fazed by his snarkiness, too pleased by the fact that he wouldn't force them to cancel their plans. Instead, she gave him a small smile before returning to the house.

X-X-X

The sun shone brilliantly on the warm day in the middle of June just outside of the city. Just as Snape had predicted, there were hundreds of muggles, both adults and children, populating the large field sprinkled with tents, rides, games, food stands, vendors and craft tables. The smell of fair food wafted through the open space, and the sound of merriment and laughter could be heard no matter in which direction you listened.

How wonderful it was to be back in the muggle world, Hermione relished.

Severus trailed grudgingly behind the Granger family, dressed once again in Levi's and a black, long-sleeve, collared shirt with two buttons at the top, which he kept tastefully unbuttoned. When questioned about his wardrobe on such a hot day, he'd told the Drs. Granger that he was usually cold. Hermione knew he simply wanted to hide the Dark Mark on his forearm, but she let him believe she was ignorant of the fact.

This was sure to be a very long day, Snape thought irritably. Already the sound of children was fraying his nerves to the quick. He kept breathing, telling himself he didn't have to participate in the day's events; he was merely an observer, and he would survive this torture.

Hermione, however, had different plans for her former professor. She had been afraid that he'd keep her from going to the festival in the first place, but when he'd proven her wrong, she felt triumphant and one step closer to winning the bet with her friends. Now that she had him in the midst of the festivities, the only thing she had to do now was get him on a ride.

That was sure to be a substantial problem.

She mulled continuously over how she would manage such a feat as she and her parents cruised leisurely through the rows upon rows of crafts and vendors. Her family was big on the fine arts, so they were always stopping to discuss the paintings and photographs or listen to someone play their hand-made instruments. Even Snape, who would certainly never call himself a connoisseur of art, found that he enjoyed this part of the festival. Perhaps he would survive with more nerves than he'd anticipated.

Then again, perhaps not, he thought as he looked skeptically at the poster that sat in front of the tent before them.

"A magician?" he said in disgust, his eyes flickering to Hermione. "You're a witch. You can do your own magic."

"Yes, well, it's always fun to watch the muggles try," she said pleasantly. "And Mum and Dad still get a kick out of it, even if they know I can do much better."

"Surely you don't expect me to sit through _that_," he spat.

She hid her giggle behind her tiny hand. "No, you're more than welcome to wait out here," she said.

"Aren't you coming, darling?" her mother called to her from the tent entrance.

"Yes, Mum!"

"And what about you, Mr. Snape? Perhaps you can laugh at us-what's the term you folks use?-Muggles, and our silly attempts to do what you all do best?"

Oddly liking the way Mrs. Granger phrased that invitation, he rolled his eyes and stepped inside ahead of Hermione to take a preferred seat in the back. Shaking her head in amusement, the witch followed Snape, sitting with her parents in the row in front of him.

When the crowd (including Granger) clapped and laughed at the simple tricks of an armature, Severus merely scoffed. Pulling a rabbit out of a hat was completely idiotic. When that fake could transfigure that rabbit into a top hat, then he would be doing real magic. And when the _magician_ pulled a whole strand of handkerchiefs from the ear of a 'random' volunteer, Snape could easily see that the whole thing was actually stuffed beneath the girl's incredibly bushy hair. And people paid money to watch this garbage?

_Stupid bloody Muggles!_

"I could do that in my sleep-and it wouldn't be some armature trick," Severus couldn't help but point out sardonically.

"So could I," agreed Hermione, not bothered by his tone in the least. She and Snape walked behind her parents as they chatted animatedly about various things. "But as I said, it's fun to watch them try."

"_Fun_," he huffed derisively. "You have a strange definition of that word. I would strongly suggest revising it."

"On the contrary, I think _your_ definition is the one that needs revision."

"Humph." Snape did not dignify that with a response, keeping his eyes trained somewhere beyond the Mr. and Mrs..

Some time later, Jean and Edmund ran into a few of their dear friends and began a very lengthy chat as adults often do with people they haven't seen or spoken with in ages. Hermione, having no ties to the newcomers, told her parents that she wanted to do a bit of exploring on her own. They asked if she was sure she didn't want them to go with her, but Hermione was quick to point out (much to Snape's irritation) that she had a very capable body guard. Her parents nodded their consent and told her to meet them for a late lunch at three o'clock near Freddie's Hot Dog Stand.

"What would you like to do, Professor?" the young Gryffindor asked jovially as they walked through the throngs of people, all scurrying about in different directions.

"There is no need to call me Professor, as I am no longer your teacher," Snape pointed out. "And as I've already stated, I am not one of your little friends. I do not enjoy these things. We are here for your benefit, not mine."

"Surely there must be something here that interests you," she prompted.

Severus scowled ahead of them. "No."

"You know, this would be a lot easier on you if you just tried to loosen up a bit and have a good time."

He stopped abruptly and pulled the excessively dark sunglasses he'd bought earlier off his nose so that he could stare her dead in the eye with much contempt.

"I do believe I warned you that I'm merely-"

"A chaperone. Yes, I'm very much aware of that fact, _Severus_," she intoned, the use of his name deliberate since he'd stated that he obviously was not her professor anymore. She stopped to stare back at him, hands on her hips, her body language telling him that he could no longer intimidate her. "Look, I didn't ask Dumbledore for you to baby sit me. But at least I'm not willing to let his stupid plan ruin my summer. Honestly, there's really no need to sulk. Might as well make the best of our forced relations with one another. So how about it?"

Replacing his shades firmly on the bridge of his prominent nose, he regarded her for a moment with both dark brows raised. Hermione thought he looked a bit like Ozzy Osborne, though he was by far infinitely better looking than the overrated rock star. "Your attempts to curb my agenda are fruitless, so you don't bother wasting anymore of your precious breath. Now are you here for a purpose or aren't you?"

With a mild huff, Hermione turned from him and continued down the row toward the games, Snape gliding after her with graceful ease.

"Step right up! Pop the balloons; win a prize! Three darts for five pounds. Five darts for ten pounds. Ten darts for fifteen pounds. Step on up and give it a go! How about you, little lady," called the handsome young man running the game, his foot propped up on the low wall. He flashed a debonair smile at Hermione, ushering her over. "Care to give it a try?"

Severus knew that look in the boy's eyes. He'd seen it far too often in the faces of the numerous randy teenagers he'd stolen points from for snogging in the halls at Hogwarts. Instinctively, he glared at the young male, knowing that his displeasure could be spotted even through the dark glasses he wore. To Snape's annoyance, the boy only had eyes for his charge, however, which angered the potions master further.

"For you, I'll give you five tries for free," came his shameless attempt to capture Granger's attention.

Just as Hermione made to return his smile, she felt Snape yank her in the opposite direction. "Let's go," he ordered, attempting to pull her away. "You needn't associate with that witless dunderhead."

Hermione pulled her arm from his grasp. "But what if I want to play?" she countered indignantly.

"Three darts for five pounds? That's a scam if I've ever heard one."

"It's a festival game. They're always overpriced. But they're always good fun," she stated reasonably, ignoring his demand that they leave the pig-headed male and his scam behind. He groaned as she turned back to the handsome boy with an exceptional grin. "I'd love to try my hand at it," she accepted lightly.

"Alright then. First game's on me," he said, handing her five darts.

Severus leaned against the end wall of the game stand in an agitated manner, arms crossed and one foot propped up behind him. At first, he kept his eyes forward, glaring at nothing in particular as he heard the first balloon pop.

"Great shot!" the boy encouraged. "Toss another!"

Hermione gave a triumphant squeal as she once again hit her target, and the boy clapped for her. "Good show! Excellent!"

Severus snorted, then suddenly found the young male's voice near his ear. "Would you like to try, sir?"

"No," was Snape's quick, automatic response. He almost smirked when he found that his tone had the same effect on muggles as it did on the magical children. Almost.

"Merlin's Beard!" the boy quipped as Hermione hit yet another balloon. "You're a pro! Best customer I've had all day!"

"What can I say? I have good aim," the girl replied sweetly, taking her fourth dart in hand. She laughed when she hit another.

The boy joined in her mirth. "Gee, if you're this good at darts, I wonder what _other_ games you're good at," he asked, and only Hermione seemed to miss the suggestive tone of his voice.

That was it. Snape had had enough of this arrogant juvenile. He was entirely too friendly with Miss Granger, and it was really starting to irk him. Shoving off of the side of the game station, Severus stepped suddenly to Hermione's side and snatched her last dart from her hand.

"We're done here," he told her.

"Wha-but that's my last dart!" she protested. "Give it back!"

"I said, we're done here!" he said again, tossing the dart over his shoulder where it hit a red balloon with a distinct 'pop.'

"Congratulations! You both win a prize!" came the youth's enthusiastic announcement, grabbing a stuffed animal off the shelf and holding it out to the wizard "For hitting the mark every time, you get this medium sized teddy bear!"

Snape turned on the boy with a death glare and shouted, "Shove it up your arse, you witless pea brain!" Then, he boldly marched Hermione away from all of the game stands. He was so furious, his heart pounding rather loudly in his ears, that he didn't hear the boy's last words.

"There's always the jealous boyfriend," he muttered to himself before belting out his sales pitch to another young lady.

"What was that all about?" Hermione demanded, jerking her arm away from her former professor when they were a good distance away from the games.

"Are you really that daft, girl?" he snapped.

"Oh, what _are_ you talking about?"

"He was flirting with you!" Snape insisted with clenched fists.

Hermione blinked, astonished. "So? That's just how the guys running the games operate. They hope to real in customers by hitting on the girls."

"And you fall for that?" he asked in disbelief.

"No. But why should I let that stop me from having a bit of fun? I happen to enjoy darts. Why do you even care anyway?" she demanded, truly bewildered by his behavior.

"Because, Miss Granger, it's a matter of principle!"

It was her turn to roll her eyes this time. "Severus Snape, do lighten up! It's a festival. You don't need to protect me from flirtatious muggle boys and lousy salesmen. Now, if the people running the games and selling crafts throw on Death Eater robes and aim wands at our heads, by all means, feel free to hex them!"

Snape scowled. "You're trying my patience, girl."

"Well stop worrying about what I'm doing! I'm not an ignorant eight-year-old!"

Conceding that she was…right…and that he had overreacted when it came to the boy running the dart game, he opted to simply…say no more on the subject. But he'd be damned if he would admit that he was wrong. Choosing to leave the point moot, he simply folded his arms and allowed his features to take on a look of indifference.

Knowing that she wouldn't get any more out of him in the way of an affirmation that she was right and he was wrong, Hermione stalked off ahead of him, knowing full well that he would follow.

The two continued walking for awhile, the tension gradually waning until they slipped back into a comfortable silence. After an extra five minutes or so, the witch decided it was time to put her impromptu plan into action. The thought of two-hundred galleons in her pocket spurred her determinedly toward the rides, and she found herself fighting a grin.

Severus strode after the annoying Gryffindor, too lost in his own inner dilemma to pay any attention to where they were going. He snapped his head up when he heard lots of what sounded like terrified screams.

"I think I want to hop on a few rides," Hermione declared. "You're never too old for a good adrenaline rush."

Snape's eyes wandered about the area overrun by the unsafe looking machines. He knew what they were; he had been raised a half blood after all. But he had never been allowed to attend a festival when he was younger. Looking at the many rides now, he severely questioned their security.

"You want to ride one of those deadly contraptions?"

"Flying a broom a good half a mile high can't be any more dangerous than these things," she pointed out, and Severus had to concede that she was right yet again. He himself had never been fond of flying. Apparition was his preferred method of transport.

"However…if you're that concerned for my safety, you could always ride with me," she hedged, hoping he would take the bait.

"Pft, not on your life, Granger," he said, shooting down the suggestion.

Thinking fast, Hermione gave another attempt at trying to coerce him. "Of course you wouldn't like this kind of thing. But you did promise Dumbledore you'd follow me anywhere I went. You wouldn't be breaking your oath by allowing me to board a ride by myself would you?" she asked innocently, as if she honestly didn't know. Really, her reasoning was quite ridiculous, but she held a tiny bit of hope that it would work.

"Doubt it," he said flatly. "I'm positive I can keep an eye on you just fine from the ground."

She frowned, relying heavily on her expert acting skills that she' d acquired during her primary and middle school years. "What if there's a Death Eater watching us? Just waiting on you to leave my side for a moment so he can attack me?"

"Highly unlikely," he drawled.

"You never know," she countered. Then a light bulb went off in her brilliant mind. "Or…" She grimaced. "I could get stuck with another hormonal teenage boy. After giving it some thought, I realized you're right; I should watch out for guys like that. I mean, shame on me! My mother and father taught me better. I know how easy it is for a man to take advantage of a woman. I certainly wouldn't want to invite any trouble for myself." She paused, glancing at her potions master from the corner of her eye, then added, "My parents would usually ride with me so that wouldn't happen, but…they aren't here at the moment."

"Then wait until we meet them to eat," he replied easily with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"I can't. We'll be meeting them in an hour to eat, and the rides close at four for a few hours. By the time they start up again, we'll be back home."

Snape merely grunted, disinterested.

_Well damn,_ Hermione thought. _Time to try begging…_

"Please, Severus?" she asked, giving him her large, pretty, pleading caramel stare. "Just one or two?"

"No."

"Please? I promise, I'll never ask such a favor of you again."

"No, Granger," he warned.

"Oh, please, Professor! I'll get down on my knees if I must. Just a few rides, that's all. Surely it won't kill you."

Reaching up with long, pale fingers, he pushed his glasses to the end of his nose so that she could see the surprised skepticism in his onyx eyes, his brows raised.

"_Please,_" she said again, and this time, he honestly considered making her beg just to turn down her request. The angry fire in her eyes would be well worth it, he mused.

"Beg…Miss Granger? I would have thought your Gryffindor pride would not allow you to be so humbled."

Bracing herself and swallowing that infamous pride of hers, she prepared to make an utter fool of herself in one final attempt to win a bet. Snape's brows rose even further when she actually dropped to her knees at his feet, her hands clasped together in front of her as her big brown eyes stared up at him with the most pleading of expressions.

"Please, Professor Snape. It would mean so much to me, and you'd be doing your job keeping my out of unsavory hands."

Severus began to feel an uncomfortable stirring deep inside him (and shamefully, in his trousers) at the sight of her actually kneeling before him, begging him to oblige such a simple request. Startled by her action, he could only stare down at her, his mind slowly coming to the conclusion that she was…quite lovely in that position. In fact, she was…quite lovely…all of the time.

Shaking his head, making it look as if he were shaking out his hair, he cast those asinine thoughts from his head, deciding he couldn't take being pestered any longer.

"Alright, alright! Get up off the bloody ground, you daft imbecile, before you draw attention to yourself. One ride, that's all. Do you understand, Miss Granger?"

Quickly rising to her feet, Hermione beamed, amazed that she'd actually gotten him to agree. The again, she doubted if he knew what he was really in for…His reaction to that would be infinitely more amusing. "Really? You'll do it? Thank you, Professor!"

"I am _not_ your professor," he said again through clenched teeth, his eyes darting left and right when he'd noticed people had stopped to stare at them.

"Right! Sorry! Severus! Thank you, Severus!"

His right eye twitched reflexively, and he was thankful he was still wearing the shades. For some reason, he liked the way his name sounded when it came from her lips. That had to stop. "Quit shouting my name!" he commanded.

Hermione closed her mouth, her smile vanishing at his dark, authoritative tone. Right. This was still Snape she was dealing with, and she would be wise to lay off the theatrics, lest she risk being hexed later.

"Sorry, Sir," she said reproachfully.

With a heavy sigh, Severus bent his head, lifting his arm in a gesture for her to lead the way. Unable to keep from grinning like the Cheshire Cat, she followed his silent command, reveling in the fact that she would receive two-hundred galleons _and_ get to see Snape on a fair ride. And she knew just which one she would take him on.

This day just got better and better!

Snape stared horrified at the contraption she'd chosen to drag him on. "No! Absolutely not! I refuse to set foot on that thing!" he protested.

"Oh, but Sir, you promised!" Hermione replied.

"No! Choose another!"

"But Sir, it's my favorite ride of all time! I've loved it ever since I was a little girl!"

"It _is_ for little girls!"

Hermione shrunk a little, but caught herself just in time. Gah, she should have known it wouldn't be so easy. But then, her eyes brightened when she caught sight of nothing short of a miracle.

"Christy!" the witch exclaimed, causing Snape to whirl around to follow her gaze.

"Mione!" called a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed little girl of about six years of age who came bounding to Hermione sporting a little pink sundress and flawlessly white tennis shoes.

The Gryffindor stooped to catch the tiny tot in a great big bear hug. "It's been so long since I've seen you! My, you've grown up big!"

"Yeah! Mummy says if I get a little bigger, I can ride the big rides!"

"Oh really?" Hermione laughed. "And where is your mummy and daddy?"

"Over there," the girl replied, pointing past Snape's legs to a man and woman walking side by side, the father pulling a wagon of the toddler's winnings behind him.

"Danny! Mary Sue! So good to see you!" called Hermione as she stood, bringing the child up into her arms.

"Hermione, dear! How nice!" Mary Sue greeted pleasantly. "Back from boarding school for the summer?"

"Actually, I've graduated," the witch admitted proudly.

"Oh good! We always knew you were a smart young girl. And who is this young man you have with you today?" the woman inquired politely, her eyes going to rest on the wizard.

Severus was stiff as a board as he stared at the overly joyful arrivals with distaste.

"This is…my friend. Severus," Hermione supplied, again seeing that the man would not speak for himself.

"Ah, good to meet you, my boy," Christy's father said, though he was clearly Snape's junior by at least fifteen years.

"Mummy, can I go on the teacups with Mione?" asked the tot in the witch's arms.

Mary Sue laughed haughtily at her daughter's eccentricity. "Of course, dear. And perhaps Severus will join you?"

Snape coughed into his hand, wishing now more than ever to be ignored.

"Sevus, Sevus, come ride wiff us!" the little darling encouraged.

Snape mentally cursed the child, a feeling of dread creeping into him. "I…don't think that's a possibility-"

"Oh, come on, Sev," Hermione urged, boldly using a nickname that he would severely punish her for later.

"Sev! Sev!" chanted the toddler, reaching out to the awkward man in black.

Severus attempted to step out of her reach, but gave a yelp of surprise when the child's tiny hands clasped the front of his shirt and yanked him toward the witch.

"Awe, how cute," her mother chortled.

Knowing she was a dead woman for this, but hoping the two-hundred galleons could buy her care at St. Mungo's, Hermione took Snape's hand while he was still too shocked to put up resistance, and drug him to the pink teacups.

"Miss Granger! Cease and desist _this instant!_" came Snape's irate roar of protest as they ascended the steps up to the platform. He managed to jerk his hand away from Hermione, giving her a glare that confirmed that she wouldn't live to see another day, but when he looked around, he saw that it was much too late.

The man in charge of working the ride had already closed the door, instructing those who remained standing to find a seat in one of the four cups. Snape whirled around to find Hermione already in one of the girlish nightmares, little Christy bouncing on the seat beside her.

"Sevus! Sevus! Come sit wiff us!"

"Come on, Severus," Hermione giggled, deciding she might as well enjoy her remaining hours on earth since she was as good as dead anyhow.

He searched desperately for an empty cup, wishing more than anything to be away from the witch and the little monster who'd dragged him into this, but he was disheartened to find that the other seats were already occupied.

_Bugger._

With an angry growl, Snape stalked over to the damn cup with the two pain in the arse females and dropped into the corner, sitting as far from them as possible. He cast Hermione a 'you're-dead-to-me' glare, producing a wandless spell that allowed her to see his flashing eyes beneath the sunglasses.

"Sevus!" squealed the child, clambering over the witch's lap and across the bench to get to him, her arms reaching out for his shirt.

Snape reeled back, almost to the point of falling out of the teacup as the disgusting child pawed him like a little animal. "Gah! Unhand me, you filthy child!" he hissed, earning a very unpleasant look from Hermione.

"You're gonna love teacups!" said Christy, sitting up and bouncing on the bench again, clapping her hands excitedly in front of her. "It goes round and round and round while the whole thing is spinning!"

Vowing to make Dumbledore pay for sentencing him to this hell, Severus forced himself to sit up stiffly and cross his arms over his chest as a ding was heard, signaling the start of the ride. He didn't dare to move or speak as the muggle child moved to sit snug against his side, her little arms stretching before her to turn the wheel in the center. He refused to look directly at Granger, but he could hear her laughter at the child's antics, and he could see her stealing nervous glances at him at various points.

It didn't take him long to notice that, while the ride was spinning, so, too, were the cups. His eyes narrowed when he began to feel like he was being pulled in opposite directions, He blinked, suddenly feeling his stomach do a strange flip. He tensed a little and dropped his head, pinching the bridge of his nose when he became severely nauseated.

_Merlin, what the devil is this punishment?_

The ecstatic tot's screams of joy made his head pound, as if someone were throwing rocks at his temples while his stomach continued to threaten to embarrass him further. Add that to Granger's merry guffaws, and he wouldn't last too much longer.

Luckily, just as Snape was sure he could take no more, the ride began to slow, then it stopped completely. As soon as the cup and the ride were no longer in motion, Christy was begging Hermione to do it again.

_God, no,_ he thought.

Granger gave a little laugh before urging the child off to her parents. "Go on over to Mummy and Daddy. I'll be over in a few moments."

"Yaaay!" cried the toddler as Snape heard her tiny footsteps rushing across the platform and down the metal steps.

"Sir…?" Hermione said softly from where she now stood at his side. He had yet to move, and she was suddenly very concerned. She touched the tips of her fingers to his arm gingerly only for him to snap his head up to glare at her.

"Don't…touch me…" he warned in a low snarl.

"I-I'm sorry, Sir," she hastened to apologize. "I didn't know you'd get sick."

Snape stood sharply, flashed her another angry look, then stormed off the ride without further commentary. Sighing, Hermione followed after him, wondering if the whole thing had been worth it. It wasn't like she even had proof of the event to show the boys.

"That's certainly one for the photo book!" Mary Sue chirped with a light laugh. "Got that one on camera, I did."

The witch blinked. Well, that solved that problem, she thought. "Really? Oh, you simply _must_ email that to me later!"

"Will do, dear!"

"Mummy! Mummy! Can I go ride some more rides?"

"Of course, Pumpkin," replied her mother. "You are both welcome to join us if you'd like."

"Oh, no thank you," Hermione insisted, knowing that Snape would surely not approve. "Actually…we have plans of our own."

"Tut, tut, Mary, even I could guess as much," her husband chastised teasingly. "Then by all means, we shall leave you two in peace. We're right sorry for intruding on your date, Hermione. Perhaps we can all get together for dinner sometime."

The witch flushed a deep scarlet at Danny's 'date' comment. "He's not my-" But she stopped herself, deciding to pick her battles. She couldn't come up with a good enough lie when they were sure to ask who he was then, if not her boyfriend. Tossing her last thought out the window, she tried again. "Erm…yeah, that would be lovely. I'm sure Mum and Dad would be thrilled-as would I."

"Right then, see you later, dear!" Mary Sue called over her shoulder as the couple turned to leave, a very excited Christy bouncing along behind them.

She waved and stared after them until they were lost in the crowd and out of her line of sight. Then, taking a deep breath, she turned and walked over to Snape, who had rooted himself to a spot far away from she and her family's friends. She did feel bad for making him sick. She figured with as much as witches and wizards apparate, a little fair ride wouldn't be able to turn his stomach. Ducking her head, afraid of what he'd do to her now that they were alone, she stood beside him warily.

"Professor…?"

He whirled round at lightning speed to face her, yanking his glasses from his face so that she could clearly see his glower. "You had better be thankful that your fate no longer rests with me," he hissed acidly. "Or I would make sure you didn't graduate!"

"I'm sorry, Sir," she said again. "Had I known you'd be sick, I never would have drug you onto it. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to completely ruin your day. I just…I got excited and a little carried away when Christy came along…Please accept my apology S-Severus?"

And there it was again; his name on her lips. The sound rang through him like the toll of the prettiest bell, and he had to quell a slight shiver. He didn't let his emotions show, however, and instead kept his angry stare on her guilty face. After a long moment of silence, he ran a hand over his face with a growl of annoyance.

"Merlin, I just need to relax; to steady myself again," he murmured to himself.

"Well…what usually relaxes you…Sir?" Honestly, Hermione wasn't sure what to call him. He didn't want her calling him Professor. It didn't feel right calling him by his first name. Best to just stick with Sir.

His eyes shifted to her, taking on his trademark sneer. "Peace, quiet and a tall bottle of firewiskey," he barked.

Hermione grimaced and shrunk back a little, knowing all three of those things were unattainable at the present moment. Giving a nervous smile, she asked, "Anything else?"

"Miss Granger!" he yelled, feeling as if his anger would soon boil over and cause him to explode into Snape shrapnel.

"Wait a minute!" Hermione cried triumphantly as a light bulb went off in her head. "I've got it! I know what will alleviate your frustration!" Snape gave her a mean, skeptical look, but it didn't seem to faze her. "Come on, this way! Trust me, you'll feel loads better after this!"

Bristling, but having no choice but to follow her, Severus stomped angrily after the annoying chit who was quickly taking over Potter's place as the bane of his existence. And who knew? Perhaps she was right and he would somehow be able to bring his mounting anger back down to a manageable level.

He raised an eyebrow at the red container with a person sitting on the inside above what looked like ice cold water. "And why are we here? What is this?" he asked impatiently, having received no commentary from the witch yet.

"It's called a dunk tank," Hermione clarified. "You hit that target just there, and the person inside gets dropped into the water. Look." She pointed to a kid in front of them who was holding a baseball, ready to throw. A split second after he released it, a ding was heard, and the guy in the tank plummeted into the cold H2O.

His other brow lifting to join the first, he looked at Hermione with a dead serious expression. "Can I dunk you?"

She gave an anxious little laugh before replying. "No…But if it makes you feel any better, you can just imagine it's me."

There was a short moment where he seemed to deliberate before he turned from her. "Good enough for me," he said, beginning to walk closer to the tank.

"Wait, Sir!" Hermione called, grabbing his arm to stop him. He spun again to face her, but his eyes dropped to her outstretched hand. "You'll need these."

Scowling, he snatched the pounds from her and marched up to the man managing the tank. "Here," he said angrily, shoving the money into the guy's palm. "How many throws will that get me?"

The guy blinked, startled by Snape's agitation, then hurriedly counted the bills. "Five," he replied, his tone unsteady.

"Good." Severus pushed up his sleeves as he walked to the bin that held the baseballs, not caring if his Dark Mark was visible. Let the muggles think he was a biker; it would make them stay the hell out of his way.

He slid his sunglasses up onto his head, then bent down to retrieve a ball, eyeing the boy in the tank. As he wound up for the pitch, he concentrated on imagining that it was Granger instead. With a grunt worthy of a really pissed off tennis player, he flung the object, hitting the target smack in the center. The short yelp and the splash was music to his ears, and he almost smiled with pride.

Almost.

Picking up the next ball, he could hear Granger clapping and cheering behind him, and he allowed himself to entertain the thought of turning around and flinging it at her head. A second later, he scolded himself for even thinking such a thing. He would never hit a woman, much less fatally harm her (except for Bellatrix…That _thing_ was not a member of the human race, let alone a woman). Not to mention he would be breaking his oath to Dumbledore and ensuring he went to hell for all eternity.

Taking a much needed breath and deciding to ignore the girl, he rallied his strength, barely giving the boy time to get back up onto the platform. As soon as he'd gotten comfortable, Snape had made another bull's-eye. He did grin that time, having imagined it was Potter, and that the water was molten lava. Three shots later (which he imagined dunking James Potter, Black and Pettigrew), he was feeling pretty good.

"You were right," he conceded, flipping his glasses back down over his eyes as the witch stepped up beside him. "I do feel better."

X-X-X

A while later, they'd met up with her parents for a late lunch, finding themselves seated at a picnic table with an umbrella in a sitting area. As the Granger's ate happily, Severus eyed his food with a mixture of contempt and disgust. It neither looked nor smelled healthy, but he supposed that's what he'd chosen-not that he'd know what the hell a chilly-cheese-dog was. Then again, he wasn't too familiar with most of the weird foods they sold at this ruddy festival. Knowing he had to at least be reasonable around Mr. and Mrs. Granger, he reluctantly picked up his strange sandwich and began to eat it in silence.

The Granger family was immersed in conversation of which Severus did not desire to be a part of, so he smartly kept out of it. It wouldn't be much longer before they returned to the house, and he could leave this bloody festival far behind him. The end of the day couldn't come too soon as far as he was concerned.

"Your mother and I were thinking that we could stay for the fireworks tonight," said Edmund Granger, successfully pulling Snape from his peaceful thoughts.

The girl's eyes flickered to him, but he kept his head down, pretending to be too interested in his food.

"What do you think?" asked her mother.

"Um…well, I wouldn't mind, but…I kind of think Professor Snape would like to leave soon," Hermione replied warily.

"Come now, everyone loves fireworks. And it's sure to be much quieter later this evening. Perhaps a ride on the Ferris Wheel as soon as the show starts?" suggested her father.

Celebratory fireworks sounded wonderful in Hermione's opinion. She'd always been infinitely fond of the colors and the sounds that erupted in the vast, blackened sky. Yet, she wasn't about to make Snape even more miserable because of her selfishness. She was surprised that he wasn't tearing all their heads off as it was.

With a disheartened sigh and a shake of her head, she answered her dad. "I…think it would be best if we just headed home," she advised.

"No."

Both Hermione and her parents turned to look at Severus, finding that his head was no longer bent in observation of his half-eaten chilly-cheese-dog. His oddly calm eyes drifted around the table to each of them.

"We needn't leave on my account," he said, surprising Hermione more than her parents. "If you want to stay for the fireworks, then feel free to do so."

"R-really?" the witch asked, dumbstruck by his sacrifice.

"Yes, really, Miss Granger," he replied, forcing himself to take another bite of the odd concoction.

Hermione beamed at him, her entire demeanor suddenly much brighter. "Oh, thank you, Sir!"

His head slowly turned to her, his glasses on the table instead of on his face while they ate. "I told you to call me Severus. I'm not your teacher anymore, and 'sir' makes me sound like an old man."

Smiling impishly, the girl returned to her meal, her parents returning to their animated chatter.

X-X-X

Passing up the clowns, the fun houses, and the other obnoxious monstrosities, Severus was grateful that the Grangers had opted to see the festival's music show. He was even more grateful that the music being played was actually beautiful and lyrical instead of the fussy raucous he was expecting. As they sat outside at twilight among rows upon rows of chairs before a stage complete with a whole orchestra, Snape found himself pleasantly relaxed. Leaning back in his seat, he had to stop himself from closing his eyes and falling asleep.

Noticing the positive change in her former potions master's demeanor, Hermione leaned over to speak quietly into his ear. "See, this isn't so bad, is it?"

"Don't talk and perhaps you'll be right," he replied flatly.

Holding back a giggle, she sat up straight and returned her eyes to the stage.

Severus frowned when he felt something stir within him at the little laugh she gave. It was hard to admit, even to himself, but he rather liked the way she laughed. He furrowed his brows, suddenly wishing he hadn't told her to be quiet. He found himself wishing she would continue to talk softly into his ear.

Subtly shaking out his hair, he pushed the uncomfortable thoughts aside. He wasn't about to become a sentimental old fool, and he certainly would not allow himself to feel _good_ in Granger's presence. Figuring that the strange muggle food was messing with his brain, he went back to concentrating on the melody floating through the cool night air.

X-X-X

In the dark, Snape watched from the ground as Hermione and her mother and father got in a few more fair rides, screaming and hollering with elation the entire time. Severus didn't care if they shouted into bull horns just so long as he didn't have to set foot onto another sickness-inducing machine.

Granger's father had been right; the festival had quieted down a good bit, many folks having already left to go home. It was apparently the last day of the festival, and those interested in remaining only did so for the fireworks. Severus figured it wasn't so bad, having calmed down a great deal since the teacup incident.

"They're about to start!" Jean Granger exclaimed. "If we want the best seats in the house, we'll have to be first in line for the Ferris Wheel!"

Snape turned to Hermione with a plain question in his eyes. "Ferris Wheel?"

"Yes, it's that giant wheel over there," Hermione pointed. "It's a ride, but it's not like the teacups. It just goes around slowly so you can see the whole valley beneath you. It's quite relaxing."

Debating for some time, he finally decided he could trust her. But just in case she thought it funny to pull another trick on him, he saw fit to warn her. "Very well. But if I find out during any point that you're lying, I swear, I'll hex you to next Sunday."

She giggled again, causing a warm ripple to course through him. Scowling mainly at himself and his asinine reactions, he aimed to follow her parents to the rotating wheel.

"Do you mind if I ride with your mother?" Edmund asked his daughter as they neared the front of the line.

"Of course, go right ahead," she said. Meanwhile, her eyes flickered to Snape anxiously, waiting for him to protest.

"I don't care," he said to Hermione, sensing her thoughts. "The night is almost over anyway."

The witch nodded, watching as her parents were loaded onto the ride. It was she and Snape's turn next, and the pair walked up the metal steps, taking their seats carefully as instructed. As soon as they pulled the bar down to keep them securely in place, their chair began moving backwards slowly.

It was only then that the awkwardness of the situation truly hit Hermione. She looked out the side of the lift, her face heating as she realized that she was sitting on a Ferris Wheel with an ex Death Eater and her former potions master, Severus Snape. It was dark. It was relatively quiet except for the low hum of people talking somewhere below them. It was as if they were the only two in the world.

Scary thing was, she wasn't sure she disliked the odd sensation of warmth at the idea of being alone with him.

_Gods, what are you thinking? You can't actually like being with Snape, can you?_

Severus's attention was focused out his side of the lift, so he didn't notice the girl's nervous fidgeting. At least, not until she said his name, successfully earning his attention.

"S-Severus?"

He rotated his head, his elbow still propped up on the arm of the lift as he raised his brows in question. Little did she know that he, too, had to fight the pleasurable sensation upon hearing her say his name again.

"I…I really am sorry…for earlier. I hope you can forgive me," she said quietly.

"Hm." He didn't really give a response, but his eyes stayed trained on her face. Even in the darkness, he could see that her cheeks were more red than usual.

Their heads snapped up at the same time when the first whistle and boom was heard, the bright colors lighting up the sky. People all around them began to send up cheers and applause as the show began. Both Hermione and Snape remained silent, watching the spectacle in appreciation, the Ferris Wheel still rotating.

As they reached the top again, Snape's black eyes shifted to the girl at his side. A new emotion twisted in his chest as he watched the brilliant hues reflect off of her skin and hair, causing both to glow radiantly. Her eyes shone brightly, and a pretty smile had graced her lips, continuing to expand until he could see her perfect, white teeth.

"Hermione," he said softly, causing the witch to start a little before turning to him.

"Yes?" she asked, startled by the unusual quality of his voice.

For awhile, he was silent, making Hermione wonder if he would ever say anything at all. His next words, however, came as an even bigger surprise.

"Perhaps…" he began in measured tones. "It…won't be such a terrible summer…after all…"

Feeling the color rise even further into her cheeks, Hermione forced herself to return her attention the fireworks. She was suddenly racked with little shivers-whether from the cold or the delight of his words, she did not know-and she rubbed her arms to try to dispel them.

She stiffened momentarily when she felt his arm wrap around her, pulling her into his side. She stared back at him with large, doe eyes full of confusion, needing an explanation for his strange behavior.

He gave her a cold look as he replied, "The last thing I need is to deal with you catching the flu, Granger. Next time, bring a jacket."

"Sure thing," she said, attempting to hide another smile as she took the opportunity to act on impulse and snuggle into his side. She heard him give a disgruntled snort, and she could imagine him rolling his eyes, but that only served to make her smile grow.

Perhaps he was right. Maybe the summer wouldn't be so terrible after all.

**A/N:** There you have it! Cute, right? X3 I thought so. I know the "Hermione needs protection" idea isn't very original, but honestly, why else would Snape be with the Grangers? And at a festival no less? Lawlz. I had fun writing this, though…it got delayed by a little mishap. Hope you all enjoyed this little one shot! I might make it into a very short story, but I dunno. ;3 Thanks for reading, and please review, my lovelies! (heart)


	2. Chapter 2: The Pool

**A/N:** Because this story has gotten a wonderful response thus far, I've decided to continue it! ;3 Also, any places in this story are entirely made up. So don't kill me if you read something and think HEY! THAT'S NOT IN LONDON! I'm a dumb American, you see. XD Never been to England, though I would LOVE to go! Creative license has been put to use. He, he.

_Chapter Two: The Pool_

"Gods, it's so hot," Hermione moaned as she lay sprawled out on the couch, fanning herself with the latest issue of _Sky Magazine_.

"I'll say," agreed her mother from the armchair near the sofa. "I almost hate to even move!"

Edmund Granger sat at the small table by the window in the living room paying bills on his laptop. When he spoke, it was in a half-distracted manner. "I'm surprised that bloke can stand it, sitting out there in all black when it's ten degrees cooler in the house." It hadn't escaped the notice of Mr. and Mrs. Granger that their guest was an exceptionally peculiar individual, and it had them both wondering if the entire wizarding world acted the same way. The conundrum was truly a head-scratcher.

"Oh, don't worry about him," Hermione said dismissively. "He's…well, he's not really a people person. He would much rather have fresh air than be crowded by us I think."

"That doesn't explain why he's always got to wear the hottest darned clothes when it's thirty-five degrees Celsius," he replied.

"I don't understand," her mother quipped. "If he's not a people person and would obviously prefer to be elsewhere, then why did Dumbledore send him here? Why didn't your Headmaster choose someone else?"

_Now _that's_ a head-scratcher, _thought Hermione. She felt her face heat even more under her parents' scrutiny of the situation. "I don't know, really," she confessed. "Tonks and Lupin couldn't do it because they have a baby to take care of. Mad Eye…well, he'd never fit in here. Dumbledore didn't want to send Harry, Ron and Ginny, and I guess I can see why. Fred and George were definitely out. And Arthur and Molly have their own home to tend to. I guess Severus was the only one left."

"S'pose I don't mind 'im," said her father, still not taking his eyes off of the computer screen. "Just a bit of an odd bird, that's all. Not the most cheerful of fellows."

Hermione shook her head. "It's Professor Snape; you'll never see him cheerful."

"Well I don't know about you lot," said Jean, standing up from her chair. "But I don't intend to sweat myself into nothingness!"

Edmund finally turned his head to look at his wife. "What do you propose we do then?"

"I say we head to the pool! Haven't been there in ages. What do you say?"

Hermione blinked, not having expected that suggestion to pop up. But it was her dad who voiced her concern.

"You know that place is going to be packed on a day like this," said Edmund skeptically. "It hasn't been this hot here in London for quite some time, and everyone's going to have the same idea."

"Oh fiddle sticks! I'm not about to let that stand in my way! I'm going, and if you two would like to join me, you're more than welcome!" With that, the bubbly woman swept out of the room and up the stairs to retrieve her swim things, leaving Edmund and his daughter to stare back at each other in surprise.

"Well? How bout it, darling?" asked her father. "We gonna let your mother have all the fun without us?"

Hermione blinked at him, then cast a nervous glance out the window where she could see her former professor sitting on the glider that he'd claimed for his own his first day at the Granger house. Hadn't they just established that Snape was not a people person? If she went, that would mean she'd have to drag him along, too.

Did he like to swim?

Did he even know _how_ to swim?

What the hell would he look like in swim shorts?

… …

Hermione decided not to try and picture that. Whether it was because she was afraid she'd like the image or that she'd be scarred for life, she didn't know.

When a few long minutes had passed and she still hadn't given a response, Edmund closed his laptop and stood with a smile. "I think I'm going to go." He gave a bark of laughter, then said, "Lordy, haven't seen your mother in a swim suit in a long time!"

"Gah! Dad! I don't need to know your thoughts on that particular subject!" Her father simply chuckled, picked up his laptop and left the room.

Sighing, she let her head fall back on the armrest as she debated whether or not to join her parents. The pool did sound mighty refreshing. But did she really want to tell Snape about their new plans? She took a long time to mull that over, but then she decided that the torturous heat wasn't worth it! Snarky Snape or not, she was going to that pool!

But first, she had tell her warden.

X-X-X

How dreadfully boring this place was! Muggle London! Ha! There was nothing, _nothing_, for a wizard to do in Muggle London. He couldn't brew potions, he couldn't do much magic whatsoever, he couldn't even wear his normal clothes! Not even the Leaky Cauldron was a viable place to go! If he dared venture to the pub, he'd have to drag the annoying chit with him, so why bother entertaining the thought?

Beyond jaded and ready to return home, Severus lay-yes, lay-across the glider, having grown tired of reading muggle newsprint and magazines. He scowled up at the clear, blue sky, not even able to watch clouds roll by. No, it was just a hot summer day, and there was not a damn thing he could do with his time besides sleep.

As if sleep was even possible when it was so bloody hot and sunny!

He bristled when he heard the familiar sound of the sliding glass door, and he took a steadying breath, waiting for her to walk around the glider and into his personal space. He continued glaring up at the sky until he could see her in his peripheral vision.

"What is it this time?" he drawled in exasperation, not bothering to sit up or to look at her.

Again, Granger fidgeted in a way that made Snape skeptical about why she felt the need to bother him. Surely if she was nervous, he wasn't going to like whatever she had to say. He attempted to wait patiently as Hermione obviously struggled for the right words. It was amusing to him, at least, that he still had such an effect on her even if she was no longer his student.

"It's really hot today," she said feebly, causing Snape to roll his eyes.

"How very observant, Granger."

She cleared her throat awkwardly, then said, "You know, if I'm to drop the formalities, perhaps you should too?"

He heaved an agitated sigh, ignoring her last comment. "Your _point_, Miss Granger?"

Hermione worried her lip a moment, then continued. "Mum thought it would be a good idea to go swimming. Dad agrees, and…so do I."

So that was it. The girl wanted to go swimming. Well, he supposed he could handle that. Who was he to deny her relief from the scotching summer day?

"Alright," he said flatly.

Hermione stared at him, unable to believe it had been that easy. "Alright?" she repeated, dumbfounded.

Slowly, Snape pushed himself into a sitting position. "Did I stutter? That is what I said. You'd be an idiot not to take your mother up on that suggestion. It's thirty-five bloody degrees."

Should she tell him where they were going? Or how crowded it was sure to be? Should she tell him they weren't going to some secluded swimming hole? Or to a lake? It would only be fair, right?

But then he'd protest.

No. He had agreed. He said he had grown up a half-blood after all. Surely he knew what a public swimming pool was. And if he didn't, she could feign ignorance and claim she thought he knew where they were going. If he threw a hissy fit, then she would deal with the repercussions later.

Instead, she simply smiled. "Thank you, Sir."

Snape narrowed his eyes at her in annoyance. Hadn't he told her not to call him sir?

Hermione rolled her eyes. "If you can't drop formalities, then why should I?" Turning on her heel, she headed back to the house and called over her shoulder, "We're sure to be leaving soon."

X-X-X

Half an hour later, Hermione walked out of her bedroom dressed in brown kaki shorts, a light blue tank top and flip flops. She wore her bathing suit underneath and carried a bag with a towel, sunscreen and her wallet over one shoulder. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail which she threaded through the hole in the back of her pink and white baseball cap, sunglasses sitting on the bill. Stepping out into the upstairs hallway, she came face to face with Snape. His dark irises swept over her appearance quickly and casually, but he said nothing.

Hermione's brows furrowed as she stared at his form clad in those same jeans and long sleeve black tee. "You do know we're going swimming because it's so hot out, yeah?" she asked.

One of his dark brows rose. "And?"

"I assume you're not a fan of shorts, but couldn't you at least wear a normal tee shirt?"

He stared at her for a long moment before he absently waved his hand, transfiguring his long sleeves into short ones. "Better?" he offered in a bored tone.

Hermione frowned a little. What was wrong with this man, honestly? "I s'pose. We'd better head downstairs. Mum and Dad are waiting." His own dark shades in hand, Severus followed the girl down the clean, white staircase to where her parents stood by the door.

"We all set?" said Jean, her outfit nearly mimicking her daughter's. Her husband wore black sport shorts with white stripes down the sides, a red t-shirt and sandals.

"I think so," replied Hermione.

"Then let's go!" said Edmund. "It's getting hotter the longer we stand around!"

Before he'd come to the Granger's, it had been over twenty years since he'd ridden in a vehicle. Now Snape found he didn't much like them. They were too small, too muggle, too strange-not to mention too slow. But at least he could be grateful that their trips in the family car were not to far-away places.

Even still, it irked him to have to sit in the back seat with the know-it-all like a child. Bitter nostalgia rolled over him, taking him back to his pre-teen years when he still lived with his parents. Any time his mother or father had taken him somewhere in a car, the ride had been full of tense, resentful silence, and he'd preferred to sit in the back in an attempt to be invisible. Currently, he sat as close to his door as possible, knees pressed uncomfortably into the back of the seat in front of him, and arms folded as he scowled out of the window, watching London zip by in a blur. Granger and her parents were chatting, but he paid them no attention.

After less than twenty minutes, Edmund Granger slowed the car and turned down a drive off to the left. Severus saw that it was a park, and he let his eyes rove the freshly mown lawns and the scattered trees, noting the placement of various play areas for little children. As they drove further along, the road dipped and turned around a hill. When they got to the next straight, Snape's eyes widened in horrified surprise as he stared out his window and saw the two large, rectangular pools that were occupied by at least a hundred people.

His head whipped around after a moment to shoot Hermione an accusatory glower. He saw that she'd been watching him from the corner of her eyes, apparently waiting for his reaction to their destination, and now her face flushed and she bit her lip nervously. It was then that he realized she'd deliberately kept the "public pool" part of this trip to herself because she knew he wouldn't be happy about it.

_Little chit._

Great. This meant that he had to suffer the company of _more_ muggles!

Mr. Granger parked the car, and Mrs. Granger was the first one to throw open her door and step out into the lot. Her husband followed right after, and Snape was not surprised to see Hermione follow them a little more quickly than necessary.

She knew he was angry with her.

Rolling his eyes with a barely audible groan, Snape stepped from the vehicle and placed his glasses over his nose (he'd become quite fond of the shades; they actually looked pretty good on him).

"At last! Our salvation!" laughed Jean as she spun in a circle, obviously very excited to be there.

"Yes, and the salvation of a million others," said Edmund.

"Look on the bright side; perhaps we'll see people we know. Come along, darling," Jean called to her daughter. "The water calls!"

Hermione smiled impishly, her eyes flickering to Snape momentarily. "Coming Mum!" She was just about to sprint after her parents when she found her former professor looming beside her. She couldn't see his eyes, but she could tell by his down-turned mouth that he was probably giving her a death glare.

"The next time you tell me of your family's 'plans,' Miss Granger, I demand that you leave nothing from your description, or so help me Merlin, you will _not_ like what I do to you."

She flinched a little, but kept her backbone in place. "Sorry, Sir. I assumed you knew-"

"Save it, girl. You and I both know you left out our exact destination on purpose. Now are you here for a reason or aren't you?"

Sighing, Hermione turned away from him to trail her parents who were already paying their way in at the gate. Snape followed sullenly behind her like a dreadful black cloud, and suddenly she felt guilty for not telling him the whole truth. Oh well; it wasn't like it mattered. He'd protest either way.

_Best to enjoy myself and just ignore the irritable bat._

Although the place was crowded, somehow Jean managed to find a few open lounges that their group of four could occupy. The woman beamed. "Good! Perfect! There's a spot just for us!"

"I'm surprised there are any open actually," her husband commented. "And in the shade, too. What luck, yes dear?"

"Oh, they have plenty of space! But I must agree, it amazes me that no one took the shady area!"

Jean, Edmund and Hermione Granger pulled their towels from their beach bags and spread them over the chairs they wished to claim as their own. The elder Grangers were more quick to slip out of their shoes and shirts (and in the case of Jean, her shorts as well). The woman seemed more than pleased to finally be able to cool off after such a warm day, and she laughed as she challenged her husband to a race to the pool.

"Honey, you know there's no running round the pool!" he chuckled.

"I'm not running, Edmund; I'm walking briskly!" she called back as she practically jogged toward the beckoning water. A few seconds later, she'd jumped in with a splash, Edmund following close behind.

Hermione laughed at the antics of her parents. Sometimes she swore they were sixteen-year-olds with the way they acted, but she didn't mind at all. It made life so much more interesting.

Right: as if finding out she was a witch and spending six years at a magical school where disaster was literally around every corner, then spending a seventh year hunting Horcruxes and searching for a way to defeat a dark, evil wizard wasn't interesting enough for her!

She had only managed to step out of her flip-flops and put them in her bag with her hat and glasses when her parents had jumped into the pool like excited little children. After her amused giggles had subsided, she grabbed the bottom of her shirt, about to strip it off, when she was suddenly struck with a realization that hadn't occurred to her before.

She was about to take off her clothes and stand only in a two-piece bathing suit in front of her former, brooding potions master now turned guardian. Her face flushed bright red in embarrassment. Why hadn't she thought of any of this before? Her gut clenched nervously as she turned her head just enough to look over her shoulder in search of him.

To her relief, he wasn't looking at her. Snape had taken up residence in the lounge the furthest back in the shade of the trees, his dark shades covering his (probably furious) eyes. His arms were crossed over his chest in defiance of the entire situation, and his gaze was trained upward. He seemed to have no interest whatsoever in what his troublesome charge was doing.

Relief flooded over Hermione, but she still couldn't shake away the uncomfortable feeling of anxiety, just knowing that he would inevitably have to look at her scantily-clad body at some point. It was to be expected given their current situation.

Swallowing her fear (and what felt like her pride) she stripped off her shirt and shimmied out of her shorts, tossing them onto her lounge before quickly walking to the edge of the pool and diving in. Instantly, she was glad to be under the water, hidden from the possibility of Snape's roving eyes. At least he hadn't seen her yet…

Or that's what Hermione believed anyway.

Truth was, much to his great annoyance, Snape's eyes had flickered forward beneath his glasses in reflex to hearing a scream; a child merely playing in the water. Unfortunately, his gaze had been drawn to the Granger girl just as she began to remove her top. For some inexplicable reason, his mouth ran dry at the sight of her creamy, flawless skin, the sun reflecting off of her back and making it glow. He couldn't tear his attention away from her as she wriggled out of her shorts, revealing a blue-clad bottom and long, beautiful legs.

He felt the beginnings of a very rare blush creep up his neck out of shame when his body began to react to the vision before him. He'd seen quite a few nearly naked women upon their arrival, but none had affected him the way Granger did. And he felt dirty for it. She was (or used to be) his student! He should not think her attractive! The thought was sickening!

But even as she hurried to the water and broke through it's undulating surface, he felt his eyes trained on the spot where she'd disappeared with a splash. It was only after about ten seconds that he was able to drag his focus away from the pool entirely, and by that point, he'd already grown too uneasy to be remotely comfortable.

_That's it…I swear, I'll Avada her if any remaining Death Eaters don't…_

Sweet relief. The cool water against her skin was, surrounding her entire body, was exquisite. Her hair was light as it swayed above her shoulders and she felt weightless as she swam deep beneath the surface of the pool. Any thoughts of Snape were immediately forgotten as she reveled in the sensation of being suspended in the vast expanse of blue.

She opened her eyes, knowing that she couldn't swim too far or else she'd run right into someone. Sure enough, she saw three pairs of legs not too far in front of her, so she turned around to swim in another direction. When she needed air, she rose to the surface and was met by the sight of her parents kissing in the pool.

"Mum! Dad! Please, not in front of so many people!"

Jean laughed. "Darling, one kiss won't kill anyone. Do you know how many people have much less decency here?"

"I've already seen two pairs of teenagers who need to find a room somewhere private…" said Edmund before giving an embarrassed cough into his hand.

Jean wrapped her arms around Edmund's neck with another laugh. "Don't mind them! We're here for our own enjoyment! Look, there's a beach ball over there!"

"I've got it," called Hermione as she swam for the abandoned object floating near the edge. Once she had it, she served it to her mother who caught it effortlessly. She swam back to her parents and Jean turned toward their chairs where Snape still lay. Apparently Mrs. Granger wasn't aware of his irritation.

"Mr. Snape, would you care to join us in a game of volleyball?"

Hermione stopped just short of her mother, her eyes wide. Had she really just asked Snape to play a _game?_ She saw his mouth turn down further.

"No…" he drawled. "Thank you."

"C'mon old chap, it's a ball!" said Edmund.

"Dad, that was really corny," said Hermione as her father laughed at his own silly joke.

"I know, but it was a good one."

"Well either way, I don't think Professor Snape-"

"Severus," Snape corrected with a mild growl. It was getting increasingly more difficult to act civil around her parents. They were all so damned cheery! It was making him want to hurl something hard at their heads. He looked around in his peripheral vision and saw a few rocks not too far to his left. He smirked slightly.

"Fine," Hermione said. "I don't think Severus wants to play with us. He's not much of a…game…player."

"Oh, very clever, Granger," he said sarcastically just barely loud enough for her to hear. "You've such a vast vocabulary." She shot him a glare and saw his lips twitch upward just a tad.

"Berk," she muttered.

"Well okay then. More fun for us," said Jean. "Edmund, head that way. Hermione, over there."

Snape let out a breath as he retrained his eyes on the leaves of the tree above him, the cloudless sky peeking through the branches and making him wish for the familiar darkness of his dungeons. It hadn't been more than ten minutes since they'd arrived and he was already wishing he could hex everyone in the area. Every child that screamed, every mother that called to their screaming children to be careful and don't run round the pool, every father yelling from the picnic area asking his family what they wanted to eat, every teenager snogging in view of all the people present. There was even a dog that barked intermittently from the far corner of the pool area, barely audible over all the other sounds, but Snape could hear it all the same.

And Granger. Every word that she spoke, every syllable-they all registered vividly in his mind. He could tune her parents out just fine, but not her… Her voice would catch his attention, and his eyes-his traitorous eyes-would drop back down to the pool to seek her out. Her curly brown hair had turned wavy, the golden rays of sunlight reflecting off of the wet mass like a halo. Her slightly tanned skin glistened and he swore he could count every droplet of water on her neck, shoulders and arms. Her laugh drew his attention to her glossy, pink lips and her chocolate brown eyes. And he hated it.

Stifling a growl, Severus sat up slowly then stood. Perhaps a bit of sustenance could take his mind off of this dreadful place, at least for a little while. Straightening his shades, he walked round his preferred lounge and headed to the concession stand, attempting to at least drown out the sounds of little children. If he had even once in his life considered being a father, this experience was solidifying his resolve not to.

As he got nearer to the vendor, his dark eyes scanned the menu behind his shades. He sighed when he saw that all the food was exactly the same as what had been served at the fair. All junk. Well, at least he could rule out the chilly cheese dog. Making a huge effort to control his rising temper, he stepped up to the counter to order, taking his wallet from his pocket.

"Can I help you, Sir?" the young woman asked jovially.

There was that word that made him feel old again. _Sir._ At least in the wizarding world, people could call him by name. "Pulled pork sandwich and a water, if you don't mind."

"Would you like barbeque sauce with that?"

"No."

"Just plain?"

"Yes…"

"Will that be all for you, Sir?"

He frowned sharply. "That's all I asked for, isn't it?" He had to restrain the irritated growl as he spoke.

"That will be five-ninety-five."

Severus handed her the money, snatching the change from her hand when she held it out to him.

"Your sandwich will be ready in a few minutes."

As she walked away to fill his order, Snape crossed his arms and looked out over the pool to find his charge. She was still playing with the beach ball with her parents. She jumped up to hit the ball and he had to turn away after catching the scene from a very indecent angle. This was ridiculous. He needed to get the hell out of here. Fast.

"Here you go, Sir. One pulled pork sandwich and a water."

He took the items from the smiling girl with a nod, then walked off to sit down at one of the tables furthest away from the crowd. Unwrapping his sandwich and taking a bite, he decided that he could live with pulled pork. It wasn't a vile concoction like the chilly cheese dog anyhow.

"Hey," came a feminine voice while Severus was taking a drink from the water bottle. He lowered it slowly and leveled his gaze at the woman standing across from him. She was probably in her late twenties and had long black hair, green eyes and glossy lips that were parted in what he guessed was supposed to be an appealing smile (not that it was unattractive). She was clad only in a red bikini top and a pair of mini shorts, and she must have been wearing waterproof makeup, because it was flawless.

Snape, who had set his sunglasses aside while eating, lifted one eyebrow, the water bottle barely touching his lips.

"Aren't you hot in all that black?"

He kept his gaze level and unreadable. "I'm fine…"

"You should join the party and come for a dip with me. The water's great." Her smile widened into a flirty one and she winked at him. "And from what I can see, I bet you look pretty good in a Speedo." She laughed with a perfectly manicured hand slightly covering her mouth.

Snape was going to be sick. Was this synthetic, horrifyingly beautiful woman actually hitting on him? As flattering as such compliments may be when a man has gone his whole life without so much as one good thing said about his looks, her transparent attempt at a hook-up was pathetic, and at best, nauseating.

"You have no idea who I am…" he drawled, his black eyes staring right into hers in the hopes of conveying that he wasn't interested.

"No, but that's the fun of meeting new people. And you are definitely my type, love. Dark, brooding, devilishly handsome. And your voice…so deep and sensuous."

Good Lord, this had to end quickly or he was going to Avada _her_. "Do I…look…like the kind of person to fall for such an idiotic attempt at seduction?"

The woman blinked. "Oh…You're right. I can tell that you're much too smart for that kind of thing. How about we just talk-"

"No…"

"But I didn't-"

"I'm _not_…interested." His dark eyes flashed dangerously. "So if you _don't_ mind, kindly take your pathetic, fake flirting elsewhere. You will receive nothing from me."

She looked absolutely mortified and offended. Good. As she huffed and left, tossing her hair over her shoulder, Snape smirked behind his water bottle.

"Arsehole," she called as she walked away. It only made him smirk that much more.

Once he was finished with his food, he got up to throw away his trash, then headed, with much reluctance, back to the chair he'd occupied earlier.

She laughed. He looked. Her father had picked her up by the waist and was spinning a laughing Hermione round and round in the water. He could see the top halves of her legs, most of her stomach, her chest, her arms. He clenched his fists and yanked his head away so that he was facing forward again-so that he couldn't see _her_-but it was too late.

He hadn't been watching where he was walking, and a twelve-year-old boy ran right into him, sending the both of them tumbling into the deep end of the pool with a mighty splash.

Hermione gasped as her father placed her back on her feet just in time to catch what had happened. She covered her mouth with her hands, not sure whether to laugh out loud or run for the hills, because Snape was sure to be furious when he resurfaced.

Everyone in the immediate vicinity whipped their heads about when they heard the splash, and they watched as the water undulated wildly as both Snape and the boy flailed, trying to right themselves. Snape was the first one to surface, his now soaked black hair sticking to his head, a few strands strewn across his face. His glasses had come off, and his eyes glinted with fury.

The boy's head popped up next to Snape's and he held something out in his hand. "Sorry, Sir! Are these yours?"

Snape's head spun round to glare at the child before he quickly snatched the glasses from his hand. "Watch where you're going, you inobservant little twit!" he growled, not caring if the boy's mother threw a rolling pin at him. But really, the delinquent shouldn't have been running around the pool! Hadn't he heard all the women say that? Severus certainly had-multiple times!

"Joey! What did I tell you about running near the pool!" Snape could have been amused at the irony, but he couldn't possibly be any _less_ amused. "Look what you did to this poor gentleman! Get up here straight away, young man!"

The boy named Joey frowned guiltily and swam to the ladder. Meanwhile his mother was hurling apologies as Snape made his own way onto dry land.

"I'm so very sorry about that, Sir. Are you alright? Is there any way I can help?"

Snape pulled himself up out of the water scowled in her direction. "Yes. Keep your little hooligan under closer observation, and maybe he won't go launching people into pools!"

"I'm so sorry-"

"Save it! Go about your business. Just leave me be." He turned from the mother and her son and stalked dripping wet back to their spot under the shade tree. Hermione got out of the pool and walked over to him just as he pulled out a towel and began to dry himself off vigorously.

"Are you alright?" Hermione said quietly only to have him turn his angry eyes on her.

"Do I look alright, Granger?" he spat.

She frowned. "Sorry…I assume you have your wand with you? You could take one of the bags to the changing rooms to make it look like you changed so you could use a drying spell."

He snorted. "I already came up with that plan, so save your breath." Unable to stand the wet, constricting material of his shirt, he stripped it off in one fluid movement and Hermione couldn't help be taken aback by his very fit, lightly scarred body. Who would have thought he was hiding such a toned figure under all those black, foreboding clothes?

Snape tossed the shirt over his shoulder and picked up one of the beach bags before whipping his head around to look at her again. "What?"

Hermione mentally shook herself. _Get a grip! It's Snape you're staring at here, not a datable person!_ "N-nothing. I-I was just making sure you weren't hurt."

He rolled his eyes. "No. I'm not. Now get out of the way, Granger," he ordered as he pushed past her to head for the changing rooms.

She turned to watch him walk away and marveled at the way the muscles in his back moved like perfection. Holy Phoenix! Why the hell wasn't he married with a body like that?

"Oh no…" she breathed as a mob of four girls began heading his way. They managed to intercept him before he could sidestep them.

"Excuse me," he said lowly.

"Oh, we just wanted to make sure you were ok," said one of the girls, a blonde.

"You took quite a fall," said another.

Merlin have mercy on him. Not more bloody females!

"I said…excuse me," he said again, his tone more forceful. He swore, if people didn't stop getting on his nerves, he was going to crack, and it would not be pretty.

"He's not hurt, I mean look at him," said a third girl as she stepped to his side and touched his shoulder, running her hand down his arm. "He's flawless. Not a scratch on him."

Snape yanked his arm away. "Get your hands off me, you filthy wench!"

"Haha, he told you, Amy."

"Yeah, let the man breathe."

"I'm surprised he can breathe a'tall, he's so deliciously sexy!"

The four of them giggled and Snape was about to blow a gasket. Women in the muggle world were even more disturbing than those in the wizarding world.

"I'm not interested in any of you miserable tramps, so get the hell out of my way."

"You heard him, go on! Shoo! Get out of here!" Snape's eyes snapped to Hermione who had shoved past the Amy girl and was currently standing in front of him. "He's taken, thanks."

"Really? By who?" asked the blonde.

"By me."

Snape had to stop himself from revealing her lie. It wasn't like they hadn't pretended to be…together…before. He wanted to grimace at the mental image.

"Aren't you a little young for him?"

"Our ages are none of your concern. So shove off, all of you. We would appreciate it, thank you very much."

The four girls stared at Hermione for a moment, but then they turned and walked away, chatting amongst themselves. Hermione turned slowly to face her former potions master who looked about ready to commit murder.

"Sorry…"

He didn't bother to thank her for saving him. He merely stormed off, this time uninterrupted, to get dry.

"Well that was certainly…eventful," said Jean as Hermione rejoined her parents.

"Poor lad. Tough luck today, eh?" added Edmund Granger.

"Yeah…" said Hermione. "Um…perhaps we should go home when he comes back…?"

Her mother and father exchanged glances. Then Jean smiled sympathetically. "I suppose it's only fair to him. I believe we're cooled off now, and he's having a pretty rough day."

Hermione could have told them that Snape had had a very rough _life_, but she decided it wasn't necessary. That, and she knew he wouldn't take kindly to being talked about in such a manner. So she simply nodded her agreement.

X-X-X

Later that evening, Snape sat at the small desk in the guest bedroom scribing a letter to Dumbledore. He would not regale the Headmaster with the details of either the fair or the pool venture, but he did have a duty to report back to his boss on the safety of the Granger home. When a soft knock rapt against the closed door behind him, pinched the bridge of his nose and bade them to enter.

Hermione stepped through the doorway cautiously as Snape continued writing without so much as a glance in her direction.

"What is it that you want, Miss Granger?"

She stared down at her shoes for a moment, gathering her courage before she spoke. "I just wanted to…apologize. For everything that happened earlier. I know I should have warned you of where we were going. Maybe you would have been better prepared. It won't happen again, I promise."

"See to it that it doesn't, Granger," Snape replied, still scrawling across the parchment in front of him. "For if it does, I will personally see to it that Death Eaters find you."

Hermione stared at the back of his head, mouth agape. "You would not!"

Silence passed between them. Then, "Perhaps not." He placed his quill back in its inkwell and turned in the chair to face her. "But you will pay dearly if there is another deliberate attempt at a communication error."

His face was blank, his voice just as hollow and empty, but she knew very well to take his threats seriously. She nodded and said "Yes Sir" out of habit only to have him frown.

She huffed. "You still refuse to call me Hermione! And when you talk to me like a child, I just go back to when you were my teacher, and that's the automatic response! So if you don't like it, maybe you should change your attitude!" With that, she stormed from the room, resisting the urge to slam the door. She didn't really want her parents asking questions regarding any arguments between she and her temporary guardian.

Snape, not at all fazed by her outburst, turned back to his letter, picked up his quill and returned to writing.

X-X-X

"Everything is going well so far at the Granger home then?" Dumbledore asked as the Order sat around the table in Number 12 Grimmuald Place a week later.

"Albus, I doubt Miss Granger and her family will be attacked. There has been no evidence, no magical traces to suggest that there are any other wizards in the vicinity," commented Snape dryly from his usual seat toward the back of the room. He was restored in his usual attire, arms crossed about his chest looking bored as usual.

"He's right. There's been nothing," agreed Hermione as she sat between Harry and Ron not far from the head of the table.

"The Ministry has caught a few more Death Eaters," said Arthur Weasley. "But a few of the more dangerous ones are still on the loose."

"There's reason to believe at least one or two would go into London," said Tonks. "But we're just not sure."

"Better to keep an eye on them a bit longer, Severus," quipped Dumbledore.

Harry, Ron and Ginny looked at Hermione sympathetically. She smiled faintly, then turned her attention back to the Hogwarts Headmaster. Snape said nothing more.

"As for now, there is no more business to be conducted. All other matters have been cleared away. Unless there are any other concerns…?" He waited, looking round the table to meet the eyes of each member of the Order. When he received no feedback for his prompt, he nodded once. "Then this meeting is adjourned.

Snape stood and quickly left the room, robes flowing behind him. Mrs. Weasley bustled to make some more tea and set out a few more snacks, but while the older adults chatted away, Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione left the kitchen to head upstairs to the library to talk.

"So, how's it been living with old bat face?" asked Ron as they sat on the leather couch and chairs in front of the dark brick fireplace.

"Ronald! Be nice!" Hermione chided. "And it hasn't been that bad, honestly.

"Right, sure."

"Hey, you never did tell us about the fair," said Ginny. "Did you do it? The dare?"

"Yeah, Hermione. Did you get him in a teacup?" Harry and Ron laughed.

Hermione grinned and _Accio'd_ her beaded bag which floated up from downstairs. After rummaging in it for a moment or two, she pulled out a small book that she had begun stuffing with new family pictures. Flipping the pages, she turned the book around when she got to the one that held the photo Mary Sue had given to her.

Her friends gaped at the image of Snape sitting between Hermione and Christy, the little girl beaming beside him. His head was bent and his arms were over his chest as he fought off the nausea. Suddenly, they all laughed. Hysterically. Ron even fell out of his chair, nearly hitting his head on the coffee table. Ginny clung to Harry as he tried to keep the two of them from falling on the floor as well. Hermione tried to stop her own bouts of giggling, but she just couldn't help it.

"Oh my gosh, Hermione! That's just too funny!" said Ginny. "How in the world did you get him on the thing?"

"Well…we kind of just…drug him."

"You did _what?_" asked Harry.

"Like…literally grabbed him and drug him onto it?" asked Ron.

"Um…yes…"

"And he didn't hex you for it?" Ginny gaped.

"Oh, he wanted to. I'm sure he simply realized that that would be counter productive to his purpose for being with us in the first place."

"C'mon, Mione, tell us what happened," said Ron. "Everything!"

"Yeah, what else did you get him to do?"

She told her friends all about the fair from start to finish-leaving out the bit about how he'd tried to keep her warm on the Ferris Wheel of course. Then she proceeded to fill them in on their little venture to the public swimming pool.

"Bloody hell!" said Ron. "Women were flirting with the git?"

"That's kind of…um…weird," agreed Ginny.

"I would have liked to have seen him get pushed into the pool though," Harry laughed. "Serves him right for being such a jerk all these years."

"Harry, he's a good guy, even if his attitude needs some work," Hermione protested.

"But he's still a jerk. You can't deny that," said Ron.

"Hey, don't you all owe me some galleons?" Hermione asked innocently. "Ginny, Ron, didn't you bet me fifty each if I got him on a ride? And Harry…I do believe you bet a hundred on this little wager."

The other three exchanged glances.

"Can you take a rain check?" said Ron with a slight crack in his voice.

"Fine, you win," said Harry. "I don't have the money on me, but a bet is a bet."

"Yeah, that was too funny to keep your reward from you," said Ginny.

"And don't worry, I plan to get some more pictures over the summer," said Hermione mischievously. "I won't torture him more than necessary, but he can't expect us to stay in the house for the next two months. And guess what Mum and Dad got an invitation to at the end of the summer?"

"What?" asked Ginny.

Hermione grinned. "A wedding."

Ginny's jaw dropped. "Oh God. Snape at a wedding…Be careful he doesn't kill the bride…"

"You're missing the bigger picture here, Gin. A wedding means special outfits. Special outfits means shopping. At the mall."

Harry's eyes bulged this time. "Does he know about this?"

"Not yet…"

"Merlin, Hermione, that will be torture to him! You must get pictures. We want to see that."

"Hey, you know what I just thought of?" said Ginny.

"What's that?"

"Well…you will _all_ need new clothes, won't you? Muggle clothes?"

"Yeah…"

"So Snape will have to try on suits and stuff, right?"

"Oh…I see where you're going with this…"

"Wow. Can't imagine what that will look like," said Harry. "Can't even see him in dress robes let alone a suit.

"How about we make another bet?" suggested Ginny. "A smaller one this time."

Hermione looked at her friend warily. "What kind of bet this time…?"

"You're going to a wedding. There will be dancing…"

"Oh bloody hell…" said Ron.

"Five galleons says you can't get him to dance." Ginny sat back against the couch with her arms crossed, a smug expression on her face.

"Why would she want to?" asked Harry, sporting a kind of disgusted look.

Hermione momentarily thought of Snape shirtless. She didn't say a word though.

"Hey, it's just another bet. She doesn't even have to be the one to dance with him."

"Right, like he'd ever willingly dance with anyone. He's never danced at any of the school balls," said Ron. "Not once. He always stands in the corner with the other teaches looking bored and/or annoyed."

"When doesn't he look that way?" said Harry.

"Fine. I'll take the bet," said Hermione smoothly with a shrug. The boys turned to her and Ginny grinned. "Good. Can't wait to see how all this turns out."

"Hm, let's see…with Hermione buried six feet under and her headstone saying 'I'm the idiot who provoked the greasy git of the dungeons,'" said Ron.

"He isn't going to kill her, Ron," said Ginny. "And if he does, we'll kill him, no questions asked."

"Well," said Harry, placing a hand on Hermione's shoulder. "I wish you luck. And I wish I could be there to see all this."

"Perhaps I'll get Mum to video tape it for you," she teased.

"Now _that_ would win an Oscar for sure."

**A/N:** I know this one is shorter than the first one, but there's a lot more to do at a fair than at a pool. Lol And FYI, Speedos on men…they are disturbing. And gay. And…um…just ew. Haha. So that was my way of making that one girl creepy. Speedos should not exist.


End file.
